As a full-time working Mom of three kids, my life often
feels unbalanced, unorganized, and somewhat chaotic, I’ve come to almost accept
this in our day to day life. I have long
come to the realization that when the phrase is used, “you can have it all”, it is
really not true at all. Every day I need
to pick and choose what I need to do and to say no to the things I know I am
just not capable of doing. I deal with a
case of “Mommy Guilt” almost daily in my life.
I am on a constant mission to overcome this guilt and I was so glad I
was able to read TILT by Marci Fair!
Marci Fair’s mantra in her new book is stated loud and clear
“I have learned how to shape and build happy, successful children as I reach
for my own dreams in my TILTed
life. Balance is impossible; memories
are better.” Previously, I have always
used the term “balance” in my life; Marci’s perspective is little different
with indicating that it is not about balance.
We need to accept challenges thrown at us working Moms on a daily
basis and learn how to adjust our lives accordingly. It is about making the right choices for you and
your family and letting go of the wild idea that we can do it all!
I clearly remember my dreams when started my first day of
college back in 1996. I was going to
graduate with a degree in Chemical Engineering, become a career-minded woman,
obtain a nice, livable salary, eventually get married, have children and be a
working Mom. The good news is I have
achieved all of that and more. I ended
up receiving my MBA and now have a wonder job as a Sales Manager in a Fortune
200 company. I’ve been married for over
12 years and we have 3 wonderful children living in a somewhat state of
“surviving” at this point. At this
point in my life, we are so busy with our family; I admit my dreams and goals
have changed quite a bit. I think my
biggest goal in life right now is to get home by a decent hour every night and get
a home cooked meal on the table. The
truth? I am perfectly fine with this
goal. I’m at a stage of my life where I
am content in my career. It works for me
and gives me the flexibility to spend time with my family.
Even as busy working Moms we still need to have dreams and
goals and encourage our kids to do the same.
They may be far off in the distance, but we should not be discouraged
from dreaming big. Perhaps it’s a
short-term dream of going to Disney World or a long term dream of celebrating
your 20th wedding anniversary in Tahiti (okay you know my dreams
now). Even if you are busy, don’t be
afraid to dream for what the future will hold for you and your family!
The next point Marci brings out is to not be afraid to let
some stuff go! I know this is so hard
for me in some ways, and others so easy.
First, I have a cleaning lady twice a month. I know there is no way I can keep the house
clean, so I allow someone else to do it.
On the other hand I still love to bake all of my kids’ birthday cakes
because it is special for me and them.
We as Moms have to pick and choose what are the things most important in
life to us and let the other ones go! We
all need to learn from our mistakes in life and make critical choices moving
forward.
I loved the part of the book when Marci suggests, “We need
to reset, or reboot, pretty often.” Every
day should be a fresh start for us working Moms. We also need to surround ourselves by positive
people in our lives. We just do not have
time to deal with negativity that comes from others and unfortunately I see a
lot of this in social media. I’m to the
point where I have to ignore other people on Facebook if they are always
negative. It is just not healthy for
them and certainly not healthy for me to read over and over again how terrible
their life is (when really I do not think it is that bad). Marci provides several
resources to find inspiration every working mom needs: The Internet, Positive self-talk, E-mail
subscriptions for quotes, Reading, Friends and family, etc. I personally believe in surrounding ourselves
with positive people and it will definitely help us become more positive!
In order to manage the TILT in our lives, we need to make
sure love is a focus in our lives. I
personally work on my relationships with my husband and children on a daily basis
and have goals every month to achieve. I
need to make it a priority to tell my kids and husband that I love them several
times a day. I do not think you can
ever tire of hearing that phrase. Most
importantly you need to love yourself and who you are in life. If you are not happy with whom you are, only
you can change it! Marci gives some
great tips and ideas on how to love your family, spouse and yourself in Chapter
5.
In Chapter 6, Marci explains how to give our children Roots
and Wings. Roots are the foundations we
build with them which include core values to guide their decisions. We as parents then must give them their wings
to go off by themselves and make decisions for themselves. I believe being excellent examples as parents
is the best way to instill core values into your children. This is not to say your children will always
make the right decision, it is our responsibility as parents to let them fail
so that they can eventually become self-sufficient and confident in their
decisions. I’m a big proponent of
choosing the right battles with my kids.
I try to let little things go and only try to jump in and correct when I
feel their decision is grossly out of line with our family’s core values. Be sure to praise your kids when they do
right the make decision though!
Overall, I really enjoyed reading TILT – 7 Solutions To Be A Guilt-Free Working Mom. It was an
enjoyable read and gave me some new perspectives and new ideas to try out on my
family. I think the book is geared to
all Moms, just not working Moms.
Everyone’s life is busy and hectic when you have kids; the ideas in this
book can just as easily apply to working Moms and stay-at-home Moms. If you have kids and often feel off-balance,
I highly recommend picking up this book.
Visit Marci Fair's
website.
Visit TILT's
Facebook Page
Buy TILT on
Amazon
One reader of Spend Less 2 Save More will win a Kindle edition of TILT, enter below:
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Disclosure: I was
provided a copy of TILT – 7 Solutions To Be A Guilt-Free Working Mom for my
honest review. All opinions are my own.
