TILT – 7 Solutions To Be A Guilt-Free Working Mom – A Review & Giveaway

 

As a full-time working Mom of three kids, my life often feels unbalanced, unorganized, and somewhat chaotic, I’ve come to almost accept this in our day to day life.  I have long come to the realization that when the phrase is used, “you can have it all”, it is really not true at all.  Every day I need to pick and choose what I need to do and to say no to the things I know I am just not capable of doing.  I deal with a case of “Mommy Guilt” almost daily in my life.  I am on a constant mission to overcome this guilt and I was so glad I was able to read TILT by Marci Fair!

Marci Fair’s mantra in her new book is stated loud and clear “I have learned how to shape and build happy, successful children as I reach for my own dreams in my TILTed life.  Balance is impossible; memories are better.”  Previously, I have always used the term “balance” in my life; Marci’s perspective is little different with indicating that it is not about balance.  We need to accept challenges thrown at us working Moms on a daily basis and learn how to adjust our lives accordingly.  It is about making the right choices for you and your family and letting go of the wild idea that we can do it all!

I clearly remember my dreams when started my first day of college back in 1996.  I was going to graduate with a degree in Chemical Engineering, become a career-minded woman, obtain a nice, livable salary, eventually get married, have children and be a working Mom.  The good news is I have achieved all of that and more.  I ended up receiving my MBA and now have a wonder job as a Sales Manager in a Fortune 200 company.  I’ve been married for over 12 years and we have 3 wonderful children living in a somewhat state of “surviving” at this point.   At this point in my life, we are so busy with our family; I admit my dreams and goals have changed quite a bit.  I think my biggest goal in life right now is to get home by a decent hour every night and get a home cooked meal on the table.  The truth?  I am perfectly fine with this goal.  I’m at a stage of my life where I am content in my career.  It works for me and gives me the flexibility to spend time with my family.    

Even as busy working Moms we still need to have dreams and goals and encourage our kids to do the same.  They may be far off in the distance, but we should not be discouraged from dreaming big.  Perhaps it’s a short-term dream of going to Disney World or a long term dream of celebrating your 20^th wedding anniversary in Tahiti (okay you know my dreams now).  Even if you are busy, don’t be afraid to dream for what the future will hold for you and your family!

The next point Marci brings out is to not be afraid to let some stuff go!  I know this is so hard for me in some ways, and others so easy.  First, I have a cleaning lady twice a month.  I know there is no way I can keep the house clean, so I allow someone else to do it.  On the other hand I still love to bake all of my kids’ birthday cakes because it is special for me and them.  We as Moms have to pick and choose what are the things most important in life to us and let the other ones go!  We all need to learn from our mistakes in life and make critical choices moving forward.

I loved the part of the book when Marci suggests, “We need to reset, or reboot, pretty often.”  Every day should be a fresh start for us working Moms.  We also need to surround ourselves by positive people in our lives.  We just do not have time to deal with negativity that comes from others and unfortunately I see a lot of this in social media.  I’m to the point where I have to ignore other people on Facebook if they are always negative.  It is just not healthy for them and certainly not healthy for me to read over and over again how terrible their life is (when really I do not think it is that bad).  Marci provides several resources to find inspiration every working mom needs:  The Internet, Positive self-talk, E-mail subscriptions for quotes, Reading, Friends and family, etc.  I personally believe in surrounding ourselves with positive people and it will definitely help us become more positive!

In order to manage the TILT in our lives, we need to make sure love is a focus in our lives.  I personally work on my relationships with my husband and children on a daily basis and have goals every month to achieve.  I need to make it a priority to tell my kids and husband that I love them several times a day.  I do not think you can ever tire of hearing that phrase.   Most importantly you need to love yourself and who you are in life.  If you are not happy with whom you are, only you can change it!  Marci gives some great tips and ideas on how to love your family, spouse and yourself in Chapter 5. 

In Chapter 6, Marci explains how to give our children Roots and Wings.  Roots are the foundations we build with them which include core values to guide their decisions.  We as parents then must give them their wings to go off by themselves and make decisions for themselves.  I believe being excellent examples as parents is the best way to instill core values into your children.  This is not to say your children will always make the right decision, it is our responsibility as parents to let them fail so that they can eventually become self-sufficient and confident in their decisions.   I’m a big proponent of choosing the right battles with my kids.  I try to let little things go and only try to jump in and correct when I feel their decision is grossly out of line with our family’s core values.  Be sure to praise your kids when they do right the make decision though!

Overall, I really enjoyed reading TILT – 7 Solutions To Be A Guilt-Free Working Mom.  It was an enjoyable read and gave me some new perspectives and new ideas to try out on my family.  I think the book is geared to all Moms, just not working Moms.  Everyone’s life is busy and hectic when you have kids; the ideas in this book can just as easily apply to working Moms and stay-at-home Moms.  If you have kids and often feel off-balance, I highly recommend picking up this book.

Visit Marci Fair's website.
Visit TILT's Facebook Page
Buy TILT on Amazon

One reader of Spend Less 2 Save More will win a Kindle edition of TILT, enter below:

 

 

  a Rafflecopter giveaway Disclosure: I was provided a copy of TILT – 7 Solutions To Be A Guilt-Free Working Mom for my honest review.  All opinions are my own.

 

Say Goodbye to Survival Mode – Book Review

I was ecstatic when I was asked to participate on the launch team for Crystal Paine’s new book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode.  I have been a long time reader of Crystal’s blog, Money Saving Mom, and have implemented a lot of money saving practices she talks about on her blog including setting a budget, using coupons, and paying off debt.  I still check Money Saving Mom multiple times per day to see the deals that are posted, coupon match-ups, budgeting tips as well as a glimpse into her daily life with her family. 

As a full-time working Mom with 3 kids ages 7, 5 and 18 months, I often (very often) feel like we are living in survival mode.  I just said to my husband last night, “why does it seem like when you think you are caught up, there is more laundry to do, more dishes to wash, more food to prepare, and more toys to pick-up?”  Life with 3 kids is hectic enough and I know that I put a lot of extra stresses on myself as a Mom (and a woman) on what I believe “ideal” should be in my life.  I often feel frazzled and cannot even think what I have to do next without literally taking a “Mom time-out” to collect my thoughts.  If you often feel like me, then I highly recommend reading Say Goodbye to Survival Mode which officially launches on January 21^st.

The first chapter of this book is titled “Stop Trying to Do It All”.  This is the chapter that really spoke the loudest to me.  The quote I took to heart was when Crystal’s husband spoke to her and said “Crystal, you know that you are the one who is bringing most of this on yourself.”  Yes, we bring most of this onto ourselves.  We over commitment ourselves, we try to be “Supermom”; yes we do it to ourselves!  Crystal stresses how we need to learn to say “no” and not over commitment ourselves to the point that we are living in “Survival Mode”.  I wrote an entire blog post on this realization, check it out here.

The second chapter, “Say Yes to the Best” plays off the concepts in chapter one.  We need to pick and choose what is best for ourselves and our family.  Saying “yes” to one thing, will force us to say “no” to another commitment.  We have to determine our priorities in life and build our schedules around them.  From this chapter, I was able to write out my priorities for 2014, and I now reference them when I am making decisions on my daily schedule.  Crystal also challenges her readers to create a daily routine which includes margin room.  “You need breathing space for when life happens”.  Isn’t this the truth?  You may have your day perfectly planned down to the minute, and then the baby gets sick and everything is thrown off schedule.  This is where it is so important to have margin room as well as give yourself some grace if your day does not go as planned!

The third chapter, “If You Aim at Nothing, You’ll Hit it Every Time”, talks about the importance of goal setting in our daily lives.  I am a manager of nine people at my workplace and every year we sit down and create SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound) goals.  We then take the time to review our progress mid-year and at year end.  “If you don’t know where you’re aiming, you’re going to lack direction and purpose.”  The funny part is, I never set real goals at home.  My husband and I always had ideas in our head on what we wanted to accomplish, but we never really sat down and wrote down goals with action items!  This has changed and now I have a list of 10 goals in 2014, check them out here!  The important part for me is accountability, I have them listed on my blog and I am committed to do a monthly check-in.  For our debt reduction goals, I have them visibly posted for my husband and I with monthly check-in’s so we can see our progress. 

In chapters four and five, discipline and knowing where you are going is discussed and how this will help you achieve your goals.  If you are trying to reach a lofty goal, you need to make small changes on a daily basis.  Crystal gives the example of committing to run a 5K race.  Every day she had to make strides to complete this goal.  If your goal is to reduce spending, you perhaps will have to take baby steps such as first cutting your grocery budget.  From there you can gain momentum to move forward and strive towards your goal.

Chapter six, “Manage the Homefront” was the other chapter that really spoke to me personally.  Crystal discusses home management topics such as meal planning, freezer cooking, and cleaning techniques.  But my personal take-away from this chapter is controlling the clutter.  “I truly believe that the less you have, the less time you spend on upkeep, maintenance, and cleaning. Either you can control the clutter or the clutter will control you.”  I wrote an entire blog post on this concept here.   I am currently on a mission to control the clutter in my house.  I know I often feel overwhelmed when I look at all the stuff in our house and how I have to constantly clean it up!  I have come to the realization that with 3 kids you have a lot of stuff, but I often feel like we are at the point where we have too much stuff.  This is another one of my goals, to get rid of clutter on a continuous basis!

The final chapters of this book are more about encouraging the reader who is feeling like they are failing in life and how you can make a difference.  Crystal gives a lot of creative ideas on how to make more time if you feel like you simply do not have enough in the day as well as making a difference in the world.  She talks about how she and her husband are truly good stewards of their money and give a lot of their time and resources to others in need.  If you are a reader of Money Saving Mom, a lot of this information may be stories you have already read on the blog. 

Finally the book concludes with a chapter about taking time for you.  I believe as Moms we get so wrapped up in our “Mom roles” that we forget about ourselves!  I have personally created a goal for myself this year.  As I was reviewing my goals, there was really nothing for myself.  We need to treat ourselves once in a while, make time for ourselves, do things we love by ourselves or with our friends, otherwise we will burn out all too quick.  Crystal also talks about making real in life friendships with other women and Moms.  In this digital age, we have a lot of Facebook friends, but how many do we have that we can go enjoy a cup of coffee with?  I believe this is really important to get offline and go back to real, true friendships (hence one of my goals)!

As a personal note, if you are at the point where you are feeling deeply depressed, I encourage you (as well as Crystal) to seek professional help.  This book is a great starting point to getting your life back in order, but some of us may be at the point, where we cannot even start to implement these principles in this book because we are so deeply depressed.  I personally suffered from a bad case of post-partum depression after the birth of my 3^rd child.  I was in an awful place and my Mom encouraged me to go see my doctor.  This did wonders for me to get back on track.  If you are at that point, I’m encouraging you to make that appointment with your doctor first!

Overall, this book is a really good read.  Several chapters spoke directly to me as a person and now I am implementing a lot of the suggestions in this book.  It is a great starting point if you are looking for more order in your life or are looking to make substantial changes in the year to come.  I highly encourage all Moms to at least read it once.  Even if you think you have it all under control, you may still learn a thing or two or find a practice you want to implement!

You can preorder the book here or the kindle version here.  If you preorder the book now, you will receive $125 in freebies, check out the link here.

 

I was provided a review copy of the book and was not compensated in any way for this honest review.  All thoughts are my own.

The Money $aving Mom's Budget: A Review & Giveaway!

I have always been a huge fan of MoneySavingMom.com!  This was the first site I started to frequent when I began to explore the use of couponing to save money.  I still check the site multiple times a day because Crystal posts all the current deals, freebies, and household tips!

I was elated when I was given the chance to preview Crystal Paine's new book, The Money $aving Mom's Budget.  It was an incredibility quick read for me because I didn't want to put it down.  I needed to keep reading to find out some more of Crystal's tips on how to create a budget and save money!

Crystal begins the book with goal setting.   As she puts it, "If you don't know where you're going, any train will get you there."  She encourages you to set big goals.  Then cut that goal into bite-sized pieces so you can achieve them.  I believe it is important what your goals are in life and that you and your spouse are headed on the same track.

Crystal also talks about how to create a budget.  She encourages you to start with a grocery budget and stick to it!  Don't create a budget that is unachievable, but one you can stick to in the end.  Once you get the grocery budget down, then you will be able to make the leap and create an entire budget for your household and tell your money where to go each month!  I know this has helped my family tremendously.  We use a spreadsheet every month to track what comes in and what goes out and where!

Finally, Crystal shares some of her amazing tips on how to save money!  These are things that she has tried and believes they will work for everyone.  The tips include how to use coupons, play the drug store game, and how to save money on household items.

Overall, this is an extremely well written book and was enjoyable to read.  I highly recommend it if you are searching for ways to save money each month! 

The book is scheduled to release January 10, 2012.    One lucky Spend Less 2 Save More reader will receive a free copy of this book to enjoy! 

To enter:

1.  Leave a comment on this post on why you need this book (mandatory)
2.  Become a Spend Less 2 Save More Facebook Fan!
3.  Follow Spend Less 2 Save More (in the sidebar)

Good luck, the contest will end 12/31/11 at midnight!

I was given a preview copy of the book to read and review.  All views are my own and were not influenced in anyway.

The Money Saving Mom's Budget

When I first started getting into "heavy couponing" a little of 2 years ago, the first blogger I started following was Money Saving Mom!  To this day, I still check her site multiple times a day and it remains my favorite blogger to follow!  She always has the latest deals, freebies, and coupons, that this site is a one stop shop for us couponers out there!

Well now, there is a new book, The Money Saving Mom's Budget!  I was lucky enough to receive an advanced copy and will be reviewing it on my site in December!  However you can also own this book by pre-ordering it here!  I cannot wait to share this book with you!  It is guaranteed to energize you to save money everyday and put it away for the future!

What We Are Reading Right Now...

I cannot believe it but my oldest officially turned 5 today!  Kindergarten is on the horizon and we are so excited!  He is into a couple of new books lately which include Clifford's Birthday Party and Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten!

He has always been into Clifford books and this one lately due to his upcoming birthday.  Best part was that I got it for free from Paperback Swap!  Miss Bindergarten vigorously prepares for the first day of school as her 26 prospective students (one for each letter of the alphabet) do the same. Any child made anxious by the first day of kindergarten should find great comfort in this book's two parallel stories.

What We Are Reading Lately...

So Christmas has come and gone and my boys are into some new books!  My two year old's favorites right now include Whose Baby Am I and What Makes a Rainbow!

He has learned a lot of new animals from Whose Baby Am I including zebras, polar bears, penguins, and owls!  What Makes a Rainbow is a great book for learning colors and there is a magic ribbon that adds a color of the rainbow with each turn of the page!

Raising Able - A Book Review

I was recently able to read, Raising Able, How chores cultivate competent confident young people by Susan Tordella. To be honest, I was unable to put the book down and I completed the book rather quickly. The message truly applied to myself and my family since we were currently considering a formal chore and allowance system for my oldest son who is 4 ½. My husband and I were unsure of the direction we were going to take, however this book made me look at chores and allowances in a whole new way. I think my favorite quote from the book was:


“We are a family, a team that can work together using simple practices of family meetings and dinners, encouragement, and natural and logical consequences to develop responsible children who will leave home, and be self-supporting through gainful employment”

In Raising Able, the process is explained how chores and deadlines should be discussed in family meetings. This way everyone can give their input and be held responsible. It also gives children a sense of ownership of the chores they chose to do. Susan believes in the principle of a weekly allowance that is not tied to completion of the chores. You should pay the allowance weekly, no matter if chores are completed. Chores are required as being part of the family. As parents, we do a lot for your children such as cooking dinner and taking them to the doctor and they do not pay us for it. Why should we pay them for emptying the dishwasher and cleaning the toilet?

Susan discusses the difference between praise and encouragement. Encouragement can be so much more powerful than praise in developing a child’s self-esteem. It allows the parents to really look at the details of a situation. As a parent you can provide encouragement whether the outcome was good or bad, this helps the child want to try again.

As a mother of 2 young boys, I can definitely see benefits of implementing Susan’s methods of family meetings, chores, and offering encouragement over praise. With my personality and drive of perfection, I often overlook the chores my boys can do on their own. They constantly ask and want to help, I need to learn to step back and let them. In the end everyone one wins, chores get done and then we get to enjoy more family time together. To me that is what life is all about, spending the most time with your family!

Check out Susan’s blog at http://www.raisingable.com/ where you can order your own copy of the book.


This review was 100% my own thoughts and opinions. I was not compensated to provide this review. I did receive a copy of the book Raising Able for my reading enjoyment and personal growth as a mother.

Money Answer Book - Dave Ramsey

So I am on this money saving kick and I read another one of Dave Ramsey's books, "The Money Answer Book"!  Okay so perhaps I am becoming a little obsessed with budgeting and saving money.  My husband reluctantly told me this morning that he thought his drill was about to blow up.  I think he thought I would say, "No - you cannont buy another drill".   I surprised him and said, "I know you use it all the time, we can get another one."  He was shocked!

Anyways, this is another great book.  Dave tackles 100 tough questions on paying debt, budgeting, and spending.  It was a great, quick read filled with lots of great insight.  A couple of the things I learned:

1. Dave does not ever recommend buying new cars because they lose so much value, you are much better off paying cash for a 2 year old+ vehicle.
2. When buying life insurance, make sure to buy term life, not whole life policies!
3. Everyone needs a will!! (I second that)!
4. Make a budget to tell where your money goes, don't look back at the month and wonder where your money went!
5. Invest 15% of your pay in retirement once you are out of debt and have a 3 -6 month Emergency Fund.

The book focused on the 7 Baby Steps laid out in his other book, The Total Money Makeover!