I was ecstatic when I was asked to participate on the launch
team for Crystal Paine’s new book, Say
Goodbye to Survival Mode. I have
been a long time reader of Crystal’s blog, Money Saving Mom, and have
implemented a lot of money saving practices she talks about on her blog
including setting a budget, using coupons, and paying off debt. I still check Money Saving Mom multiple times
per day to see the deals that are posted, coupon match-ups, budgeting tips as
well as a glimpse into her daily life with her family.
As a full-time working Mom with 3 kids ages 7, 5 and 18
months, I often (very often) feel like we are living in survival mode. I just said to my husband last night, “why
does it seem like when you think you are caught up, there is more laundry to
do, more dishes to wash, more food to prepare, and more toys to pick-up?” Life with 3 kids is hectic enough and I know
that I put a lot of extra stresses on myself as a Mom (and a woman) on what I
believe “ideal” should be in my life. I
often feel frazzled and cannot even think what I have to do next without
literally taking a “Mom time-out” to collect my thoughts. If you often feel like me, then I highly
recommend reading Say Goodbye to Survival
Mode which officially launches on January 21st.
The first chapter of this book is titled “Stop Trying to Do
It All”. This is the chapter that really
spoke the loudest to me. The quote I
took to heart was when Crystal’s husband spoke to her and said “Crystal, you
know that you are the one who is bringing most of this on yourself.” Yes, we bring most of this onto ourselves. We over commitment ourselves, we try to be
“Supermom”; yes we do it to ourselves!
Crystal stresses how we need to learn to say “no” and not over
commitment ourselves to the point that we are living in “Survival Mode”. I wrote an entire blog post on this realization,
check it out here.
The second chapter, “Say Yes to the Best” plays off the
concepts in chapter one. We need to pick
and choose what is best for ourselves and our family. Saying “yes” to one thing, will force us to
say “no” to another commitment. We have
to determine our priorities in life and build our schedules around them. From this chapter, I was able to write out my
priorities for 2014, and I now reference them when I am making decisions on my
daily schedule. Crystal also challenges
her readers to create a daily routine which includes margin room. “You need breathing space for when life
happens”. Isn’t this the truth? You may have your day perfectly planned down
to the minute, and then the baby gets sick and everything is thrown off
schedule. This is where it is so
important to have margin room as well as give yourself some grace if your day
does not go as planned!
The third chapter, “If You Aim at Nothing, You’ll Hit it
Every Time”, talks about the importance of goal setting in our daily
lives. I am a manager of nine people at
my workplace and every year we sit down and create SMART (Specific,
Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound) goals. We then take the time to review our progress
mid-year and at year end. “If you don’t
know where you’re aiming, you’re going to lack direction and purpose.” The funny part is, I never set real goals at
home. My husband and I always had ideas
in our head on what we wanted to accomplish, but we never really sat down and
wrote down goals with action items! This
has changed and now I have a list of 10 goals in 2014, check them out here! The important part for me is accountability,
I have them listed on my blog and I am committed to do a monthly check-in. For our debt reduction goals, I have them
visibly posted for my husband and I with monthly check-in’s so we can see our
progress.
In chapters four and five, discipline and knowing where you
are going is discussed and how this will help you achieve your goals. If you are trying to reach a lofty goal, you
need to make small changes on a daily basis.
Crystal gives the example of committing to run a 5K race. Every day she had to make strides to complete
this goal. If your goal is to reduce
spending, you perhaps will have to take baby steps such as first cutting your
grocery budget. From there you can gain
momentum to move forward and strive towards your goal.
Chapter six, “Manage the Homefront”
was the other chapter that really spoke to me personally. Crystal discusses home management topics such
as meal planning, freezer cooking, and cleaning techniques. But my personal take-away from this chapter
is controlling the clutter. “I truly believe
that the less you have, the less time you spend on upkeep, maintenance, and
cleaning. Either you can control the clutter or the clutter will control you.” I wrote an entire blog post on this concept here. I am currently on a mission to
control the clutter in my house. I know
I often feel overwhelmed when I look at all the stuff in our house and how I
have to constantly clean it up! I have
come to the realization that with 3 kids you have a lot of stuff, but I often
feel like we are at the point where we have too much stuff. This is another one of my goals, to get rid
of clutter on a continuous basis!
The final chapters of this book are more about
encouraging the reader who is feeling like they are failing in life and how you
can make a difference. Crystal gives a
lot of creative ideas on how to make more time if you feel like you simply do
not have enough in the day as well as making a difference in the world. She talks about how she and her husband are
truly good stewards of their money and give a lot of their time and resources
to others in need. If you are a reader
of Money Saving Mom, a lot of this information may be stories you have already
read on the blog.
Finally the book concludes with a chapter about
taking time for you. I believe as Moms
we get so wrapped up in our “Mom roles” that we forget about ourselves! I have personally created a goal for myself
this year. As I was reviewing my goals,
there was really nothing for myself. We
need to treat ourselves once in a while, make time for ourselves, do things we
love by ourselves or with our friends, otherwise we will burn out all too quick. Crystal also talks about making real in life
friendships with other women and Moms.
In this digital age, we have a lot of Facebook friends, but how many do
we have that we can go enjoy a cup of coffee with? I believe this is really important to get offline
and go back to real, true friendships (hence one of my goals)!
As a personal note, if you are at the point where
you are feeling deeply depressed, I encourage you (as well as Crystal) to seek
professional help. This book is a great
starting point to getting your life back in order, but some of us may be at the
point, where we cannot even start to implement these principles in this book
because we are so deeply depressed. I
personally suffered from a bad case of post-partum depression after the birth
of my 3rd child. I was in an
awful place and my Mom encouraged me to go see my doctor. This did wonders for me to get back on
track. If you are at that point, I’m
encouraging you to make that appointment with your doctor first!
Overall, this book is a really good read. Several chapters spoke directly to me as a
person and now I am implementing a lot of the suggestions in this book. It is a great starting point if you are looking
for more order in your life or are looking to make substantial changes in the
year to come. I highly encourage all
Moms to at least read it once. Even if
you think you have it all under control, you may still learn a thing or two or
find a practice you want to implement!
You can preorder the book here or the kindle version here. If you preorder the book now, you will receive $125 in freebies, check out the link here.
I was provided a review copy of the book and was
not compensated in any way for this honest review. All thoughts are my own.
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